Monday October 22, 2012

Is this part of the process?
I am sitting here reading some of the heart mom blogs.  I will read some and they are not updated in a very long time.  I ask myself  "did something happen, is their child okay"? I hate this, my mommy heart for these young mothers ask the questions?, wonders if they are okay or are they just so busy that they can't get back to it or is it just not their thing.  I hope that is the case, because anything else I think is not acceptable for these heart mom's...

I have been reading a heart blog for a child who suddenly left us to live their life in Heaven, and the mother, frankly, has me worried sick about her.  I am so glad she has her blog to vent to and chronicle this time, but she seems to be going to a very dark place and my mom heart want's to help her.  I know it is not my place, but I am the person who worries about everyone (It drives my family crazy).  I realize it will never be o.k. for her, she will always have this doughnut heart but I wonder if she needs some kind of intervention or if this is just part of a process.  I know there is a grieving process, but is it different for parents of children with special needs.

 My younger son and I kinda discussed this and we talked about our blessing, Carla.  We talked about the day she was born and the decision that was made to keep her in our family as long as we can (which I believe is till she is a very old woman). We discussed the fact that we knew it was a very long journey and we knew of the problems and pitfalls but we as a family signed up for this and no matter what we have to stay positive, stay the course and see it through.

In life, there is never a gaurantee no matter what.  We have to live life with it's major ups and downs and it is sometimes very hard and difficult to get through these times.  Why is the earth and everyone on it still going through their routines when my life has completely imploded.   Because they have to, just as we have to.  We  still have so many people relying on us and without us it doesn't work very well.  Life is like the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" We are each needed in people's lives to help them or they to help us.  We cannot leave before our time, because we upset the balance of others.  It is hard enough when we lose someone, but for another to take their life because they cannot take it, is selfish and onesided.  It affects so many when someone is gone.  So we must stay as positive as we can and stay the course and see it through to the end.....

Just my thoughts, Love You,  Tammy